


Spare a Little Time

by cuddlehazz



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bellarke, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, post the 100 season 5 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 02:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18228953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlehazz/pseuds/cuddlehazz
Summary: Basically a Bellarke conversation we will never get but that I desperately want. Post-Bellarke 5x13 side hug with some time to have an actual conversation.





	Spare a Little Time

Clarke pulled out of their embrace first as she felt Bellamy’s arm slip away, she turned to look at Jordan, ‘How long have you been awake?’ Clarke wasn’t sure how long she and Bellamy stood in front of the window looking down at the new planet. There were so many things to think about and do.

‘A few days,’ Jordan bit his lip, ‘sorry’ he rushed out before continuing as if expecting to be reprimanded for waiting to wake them ‘I wanted to…’. In truth, after Jordan wok up he spent a few days walking around the ship and remembering his time with his parents.

‘You grew up here and it was the last place you saw your parents alive’, Bellamy filled in looking kindly at Harper and Monty’s son, who he and Clarke seemed to be put in charge of. Bellamy couldn’t get his head around that he was never going to see them again. Instead, he was asked to watch over their son who was named after Jasper. It was a lot. Not to mention where he and Clarke were. Monty and Harper woke them up first. That meant something.

Just then Clarke spoke again, ‘Did they… did your parents leave any other instructions?’. Clarke didn’t know how to talk about Monty and Harper now. She lost so much time with them, 6 years while they were apart and then she hardly saw them before everyone, well not everyone, ended up in cryo.

‘Not really… sorry’ Jordan said looking between the two his parents told him stories about. To him, they were his parent's friends, more than that they were leaders who took care of his parents and considered them family. ‘I think they probably thought you would figure it out like you always do’ Jordan smiled again. He loved hearing stories about Bellamy and Clarke, the things they did for their people and how deeply they cared.

‘Like we..?’ Clarke started to say before Jordan blushed and answered, ‘Well you heard the video, they told me stories as you did for Madi. They told me everything…’ Jordan got a puzzled look on his face before continuing, ‘well at least I think it’s everything’. Jordan shrugged.

‘Everything sounds like a lot,’ Bellamy smiled at Jordan before looking over to Clarke. ‘Well what should we do, princess,’ the old but familiar nickname hung in the air as Clarke looked back at Bellamy, surprised.

‘We know we need to wake up Raven and Shaw to check the ship,’ Clarke suggested. They needed to make sure everything was stable. They didn’t know how long it’s been since they arrived and how Monty left things. The ship needed to be checked for safety. 125 was a long time but to Clarke, it felt like 5 minutes.

‘Right, and Echo, Emori, and Murphy too,’ Bellamy said looking sad, ‘they should hear first about Harper and Monty’. They were owed that at least. They became a family those 6 years on the ring. Clarke nodded in agreement.

‘What about Madi and the others?’ Bellamy asked. He and Clarke hadn’t had the chance to really talk anything through let alone everything with Madi.

‘Once we establish it’s safe in the ship and supplies, we can wake Madi,’ Clarke refused to risk her daughter’s life. On top of that right now even with the chip in her head Madi was asleep, she was just a kid away from all the decisions of leadership. Clarke never wanted that burden for Madi.   

‘Can you wake them up?’ Bellamy asked Jordan remembering he was still standing there. Jordan had been watching the exchange between Clarke and Bellamy.

‘Sure,’ Jordan said before pausing and looking between the two leaders again, ‘but there is one last thing mom and dad asked before I’m supposed to wake anyone else up.’ Jordan knew the list and he was hoping they would work together which they were but his parents asked for more.

‘What do you mean?’ Clarke asked raising an eyebrow.

‘Here,’ Jordan said as he reached out to hand the two a letter neither Clarke or Bellamy noticed before, ‘I’ll be … somewhere not here’ Jordan said as he backed away from the two. Then Jordan disappeared down a hall.

Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other then the paper Bellamy took from Jordan before he opened it and read it aloud ‘Bellamy, please don’t blame yourself for not making sure we didn’t go into cryo. This was our choice. We wanted to live our own way for once. You and Clarke work best together, not just as leaders but as friends. I know you came to some sort of agreement before cryo but you guys need to talk. You don’t have to wake everyone up and jump head first into things, not yet. Take this time to work through some things because we all know the chance for that doesn’t come often. We asked both you and Clarke to take care of our boy. We are trusting both of you to protect him, to help him and to keep him safe. Together is something you always understood and worked with best. Work together, however, is best for you but together always.’

Bellamy had tears in his eyes again by the time he finished reading it. He looked over to Clarke who was already watching him.

‘We should…’ Bellamy said before rethinking and starting again, ‘Can we talk?’

Clarke gave a half smile before answering ‘technically we are already’. Clarke didn’t understand the letter. She knew they would trust Bellamy but after how everything was left Clarke didn’t understand how she fit into all this. Everything was so different from when the Dropship landed. Where did she stand with everyone now? She hadn’t expected to be invited to the meeting where they decided on cryo and now this.

Bellamy huffed a laugh at Clarke’s response and watched her. He had so much he wanted to say to her and he finally had a chance. A chance Harper and Monty handed to him, and Jordan. A chance that he hasn’t had maybe ever to just talk about something other than actively trying to keep their people alive. Harper and Monty basically told him to take the chance.

Bellamy reached out and took Clarke’s hands and led her to where he thought the mess hall was. Somewhere they could just sit and talk.

Clarke didn’t understand what was going on but she knew the look on Bellamy’s face, he seemed to make up his mind about something. They ended up sitting at a table across from each other like they had time before but never so alone with so much time.

‘Bellamy what..’ Clarke started after Bellamy didn’t say anything when they sat down.

‘Harper and Monty… they-they were there on the ring’, Bellamy paused meeting Clarke’s eyes before continuing, ‘they were on the ring when we thought we lost you. For 6 years I thought I lost you.’ Bellamy stopped speaking as he thought back to how bad of a time it really was. Raven was always working on the ship. Monty worked on getting the Algae farm working. Bellamy, well he could only look down at earth and worry about the two most important people he left behind.

‘I was devastated, leaving you behind was -is my biggest regret. We should have we – hindsight you know’, Bellamy huffed yet another half laugh while he ran his hand through his hair. Every possible scenario had run through his head hundreds of times of what he could have done better or more to save her.

Clarke watched his hand go through his hair before she spoke, ‘I never blamed you. I expected to die. I almost did’, Clarke paused thinking of the moments before she found Eden that she had the chance to tell Bellamy about once before but couldn’t bring herself to do it. ‘I almost died a few times even after that. It was so hard, Bellamy,’ Clarke said as tears gathered in her eyes. ‘It was so hard but then you came back, and I had Madi with me and you came back’. Clarke said it before, but she didn’t get to say how important it was to her that Bellamy came home.

‘What do you mean a few times’, Bellamy almost panicked watching Clarke tear up. Time. Time was something they never seemed to have. He never heard about her 6 years on earth with Madi. He tried to bring it up but the look she got on her face before she handed over the rest of the rations and fled was one, he would never forget. Then they never had the time to talk again. It never felt right.

‘I had gone days without water, food, hope. Everything looked the same and I was… I couldn’t do it anymore’ Clarke paused. ‘Going to Arkadia was a mistake. I only found ghosts. Jasper and Maya and everything we had done to get there to only survive. It almost seemed right, I would lose everything but that didn’t stop it from hurting. I lost everything I had ever known, including myself.’ Clarke couldn’t speak and look at Bellamy, her eyes focused on the table in front of her.

‘I almost’ Clarke paused, ‘before I found the valley I almost… Madi would have been alone’. Clarke still couldn’t say it to him, but she knew he got it when she heard a sharp breath.

Clarke looked up and saw so many emotions on his face, ‘if I had died by whatever means... Bellamy’, Clarke paused reaching for his hand across the table, ‘Bellamy, my death would have never fallen on you. I chose to stay behind. I chose this. Eventually, I chose to live too.’ Clarke smiled at him because she knew she was strong enough to survive.

‘Clarke,’ Bellamy chocked on her name, ‘I thought you were dead. I grieved you and I tried to move on,’ Bellamy stopped thinking about the months and months he couldn’t sleep without dreaming of all the ways Clarke could have died. The things she missed. How much he missed her. So, he became the leader he hoped she would be proud of.

‘You didn’t know I was alive’ Clarke took a breath to steady herself before she continued, ‘how would you knowing I was alive make a difference anyway?’ Clarke was curious as to where Bellamy was going with this. She felt something like hope in her chest. Something so light and fluttering. Something she hadn’t felt since the day of Praimfaya when she was with Bellamy.

‘Do you remember when we stood along the river before you went to the island? I was going to tell you something’, Bellamy knew he backtracked some but he needed her to know what he was going to say.

‘Yes, but what does-’ Bellamy cut Clarke off from continuing.

‘I was going to tell you that I needed you.  That- I wanted you to be safe. That I’, Bellamy still couldn’t say it. He took a deep breath and continued, ‘then you told me I was special’ Bellamy broke off with a self-deprecating laugh and ran his hand through his hair again leaving it sticking up more than usual with a fond but still astonished look on his face.

‘You still don’t see it do you?’ Clarke interrupted his thoughts. She couldn’t believe, well she could the more she thought about it, but that he didn’t see the man, the leader he turned out to be. ‘Bellamy you are special. You always were. I mean look at you. You are a leader now a real leader. You survived in space, you kept everyone alive and got them back to the ground. You got the bunker open. You tried to end the war. You tried for peace. You did that. I’m not saying you didn’t make mistakes but you did them to save your people’ Clarke stopped looking at him before saying, ‘except I wasn’t your people anymore.’

Bellamy’s breath caught and he let out a rather loud ‘no!’

‘Bellamy you just said you grieved and moved on and you should have. We had different priorities for our people when we were together again.’

‘I said that, didn’t I? When I left you chain- Clarke I’m so sorry I left you, I- You are my people there was never a time you weren’t even at the dropship’ Bellamy paused, ‘I’m sorry I went behind your back with Madi, I’m so sorry Clarke and I don’t blame you for leaving me in the bunker’. He would always forgive her. It’s just who they are.

‘I shouldn’t have done that’ Clarke interjected quickly, ‘I’m sorry’.

Both paused not knowing what to say before Bellamy spoke, ‘I guess you hurt the ones you love most huh?’ He asked out loud although he didn’t seem to mean to.

Bellamy looked up almost shocked before he sighed and said, ‘that day along the river I was going to tell you how much you meant to me. I was worried I would never see you again and’, Bellamy looked up before speaking again, ‘I love you.’

Clarke’s heart stopped. She didn’t know if that was meant to be past tense or not but she couldn’t ask.

‘Clarke, I loved you then and now… I’, Bellamy paused ‘I don’t know if we can get past the things we have done to each other but I want to try. I want to know you.’ Bellamy looked up at her trying to lay everything out while he had the chance. He wasn’t going to let things go past him again.

It was more than Clarke ever hoped for.

‘I radioed you every single day.’ Clarke wanted to tell him she had six years’ worth of things to tell him that she never got to. She also needed him to know how much he meant to her. ‘Bellamy, I radioed you every single day for 6 years. You, Bellamy.’

Clarke watched as Bellamy smiled and said, ‘Madi may have spoiled that one for me.’ Then he laughed at the face Clarke made.

‘When?’ Clarke asked watching Bellamy laugh.

‘When we were waiting for Monty and the others to get to the ship,’ Bellamy said still smiling but with a pang of sadness at the thought of Monty.

‘So that’s what she said and why you turned to look at me.’ Clarke said remembering how confused she was thinking they were talking about her. She knew his face was etched with stress until he looked at her with an expression filled to the brim with shock and maybe even some hope.

‘Madi’s a good kid and you did an amazing job raising her,’ Bellamy paused they somehow made it back to the subject of Madi, ‘Clarke I’m so sorry for going against you with the flame and Madi’.

‘I don’t know if I can forgive you for that, but it can’t be undone, really it’s Madi’s choice now as much as I wish it wasn’t’, Clarke was not happy that it happened and that it was Bellamy hat went behind her back but it was done now. They both did terrible things.

‘We’ve gotten pretty good at forgiving each other,’ Bellamy said thinking back to when they sat against the same tree after their day trip. He looked up making eye contact before he said, ‘I forgive you, Clarke’. And he did for leaving him for all of it. He just wanted them to be on the same side again. And maybe even a little more.

‘If Madi is okay and as long as you never do anything to hurt her again,’ Clarke took a calming breath ‘I forgive you, Bellamy.’ Clarke watched as his shoulder sagged and a relieved smile took over his face.

‘I won’t, I promised you once and I broke that promise but I won’t this time. I will protect her. You and Madi are my people’, Bellamy said as sure as he would say any fact he was certain of.

‘I missed you,’ Clarke said looking at Bellamy. She realized he had told her he loved her and she had tried to say in her own way but she didn’t actually do it. Before Bellamy could say anything in response Clarke added, ‘I loved you in a lot of ways and if I had made it to space with you, I think I would have fallen in love with you.’

‘Clarke-’ Bellamy started before he stopped to think. He knew it was true too. They trusted each other but with everything going on always they never had the chance to really fall in love. Bellamy wondered if they would ever have the chance again. ‘Clarke I do want to get to know you, who you are now and I missed you so much. Losing you was losing a piece of myself.’

‘Bellamy we cant-’ Clarke thought about her conversation with Echo. Echo had said he cared for Clarke and she knew that on some level but this was different.

‘Echo told me about your conversation with her before she returned with Madi,’ Bellamy said as if reading her thoughts. Clarke found it almost calming that after all this time apart and the things they had done he still knew her. Echo mentioned they spoke and she told Bellamy that Clarke cared about him, that she always had.

‘She loves you,’ Clarke stated. She knew they were in love.

‘And I love her. I grew to love her, but it was only in the absence of you,’ Bellamy admitted. He knew he never would have ended up with Echo had Clarke been there.

‘Bellamy-’ Clarke was not going to be the other girl. She was never going to do that again and he was different now.

‘We are leaders, but we also became friends along the way,’ Bellamy smiled thinking about the rough start they had.

‘We did,’ Clarke replied wondering where he was going with this.

‘How about we work on being friends again and see where it goes?’ Bellamy suggested.

‘That doesn’t-’ Clarke began to protest about him still being with Echo, but Bellamy interrupted.

‘I love Echo but she isn’t you and she never will be. She was afraid everything would change when we got to the ground,’ Bellamy sighed before continuing, ‘She was right to worry. Everything did change the minute I heard Madi say you were alive.’ Bellamy thought about that often. Everything he hoped for, for 6 years, that Clarke survived came true in that one moment. And just like old times, he needed to save her life again which he missed doing.

Clarke smiled at him, once again it was more than she had ever dared hope for, ‘friends first and of course keeping our people alive’, Clarke added on for good measure.

Bellamy knew she was trying to give him an out and not just him but herself but he wasn’t going to take it. He had gone too long without saying the truth to her, ‘Clarke, I think it’s going to be really easy to fall in love with you again.’

Clarke smiled at him before she shrugged, ‘so does that mean we are already friends now or are we skipping that part?’ Clarke asked to try and lighten the mood a bit but still talk. She didn’t know how long they had been sitting in the mess hall but this conversation meant the world to her.

Bellamy laughed before he braced himself on the table and stood up walking around it towards her. Clarke turned and stood just in time for him to wrap his arms around her, ‘I missed you’ Bellamy mumbled into her hair.

Clarke returned the hug about to say she missed him too before thinking again and saying, ‘this feels a lot like friendship and maybe something more’ she smiled into his shoulder.

‘Maybe something more,’ Bellamy sighed back.

‘Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean to-’ Jordan had walked into the mess hall thinking they heard him so he spoke, but they were so lost that they hadn’t until he spoke up.

Bellamy and Clarke broke apart from their hug and smiled at Jordan who was rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly with his hand. Jordan could see why his parents asked him to wake them up first for.

Bellamy tilted his head beckoning Jordan closer to him and Clarke, ‘Your parents knew what they were talking about’ Bellamy laughed. He missed them so much and even after they were gone they still managed to help him.

Jordan smiled before he looked a little sad, ‘Could you – would you tell me about them?’ Jordan asked. He knew stories but he wanted to know what these people who knew his parents so well thought of them.

‘How about this for everything we tell you about our time with your parents you tell us something about your time with them,’ Clarke suggested and watched Jordan’s face light up at the idea.

Clarke and Bellamy’s gazes met, and they smiled at each other. They would figure things out together. But first, they were going to hear about their friends they lost and meet the son they were asked to take care of. Just this once they could spare a little time.

**Author's Note:**

> I need them to talk and I also really need bellarke *sigh*. I'm slaty if you couldn't tell but if you want to come be salty with me you can find me on tumblr [@bellameblake](https://bellameblake.tumblr.com)
> 
> Heck it has been so long since I wrote a fic.


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